We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
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