his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
my poor anus
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
