That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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