don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
