I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
We got so high we made milksteak
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
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