In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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