he wants to bone in the snuggie
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
