and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
