This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
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When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
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Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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