lets start a swedish sibling band together
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
