so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
