I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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