I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
What a dumb baby whore.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
