belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
