we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
