we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
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