so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
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So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
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After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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