I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
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