Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
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