Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
