An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
