She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Randomize
