So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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