how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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