I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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