he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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