I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
