I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Randomize
