I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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