True but thats because hes a fetus.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
