Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I just pynch a tree in the face
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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