On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
