elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Randomize
