Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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