Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
