the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
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