Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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