You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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