Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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