I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
