I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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