i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
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