He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
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