this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
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