Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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