perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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