you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize