I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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