i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
