Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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