So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
