Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
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