Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
