Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
