No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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