Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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