The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
