Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
