the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I just googled if crying burns calories
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
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