weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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