if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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