I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
