but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Randomize
