Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
