this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Randomize
