I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
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