Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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