it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
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