Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
